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Welcome to my bowl full of mush. In case you are unaware, my title comes from a popular children's book that makes me happy :) It might be, at times, boring, funny, sad, interesting or all of the above. No one said you had to read it:)
Current Month
Apr. 18th, 2007 @ 05:28 am Confessions of a Drama Queen
Current Location: the 313
Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: Dashboard Confessional "Saints and Sailors"
So...I haven't written in more than two years. What's even more incredible is that i AM writing now.

Basically, I wanted to tell a story.

So my guy friend is "in love" with this girl...who happens to be a total slubag. Truly. She is studying in Europe this semester. The two of them dated for like 2 months or something last winter, and he's totally hooked. Meanwhile, she is an immature, manipulative nutso who states herself in her facebook profile: "Too many guys think I complete them or something...but I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own peace of mind." And that's pretty much correct.

Anyway, here is the scoop: he believes that if he flies to Europe to "go after" her, he may be able to win her back. Sigh...oh kid...if she were only worth winning back.

He has now spent 800 dollars that he doesn't have, and he leaves tomorrow.

My confession is this: I'm letting him go. And worse than that, I did not do my best to talk him out of it. Far worst of all, I'm kind of reveling in the drama of the whole thing.

I mean, I did the whole bit of being like "As your friend, I have to tell you this is a terrible idea. And it probably won't work. And she might be really really pissed off and hate you."

But I still offered to find him a place to stay with some friends in Europe and told him that I couldn't advise him against his "gut feeling." Basically, I took a pretty "hands off" approach and reveled in the dramatic aspects of the situation. If I'd done my true duty as a friend, I would have just straight up told him "I think she's an evil slut who manipulated you, and she will be a total bitch if you go there. You need to get some balls and find a better girl."

Even now, just hours before he is leaving to get his heart trampled on, I still find myself being a little bit excited!!!!!! What is wrong with me??? :(

I don't know what to do. And no one is reading this, so...yeah. :(
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Feb. 28th, 2005 @ 09:50 pm Today is a Good Day
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Wake me Up before you Go GO
life is amazing BECAUSE:
1. I'm hearing Charlie Weis speak in five minutes
2. Spring Breaking in my favorite city in the whole world
3. Spring Break check from the madre :)
4. Just wrote my name HUGELY in the snow
5. people are nice
6. Am seeing the President of the United States of America on Friday

I love today.
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Sep. 1st, 2004 @ 08:42 pm I love my dad
Just got a letter from my dad and wanted to put it here because I was so impressed with his verbage. Made me cry. In a good way.

On finding an on-campus job:

"I hope you get a job you like, but I have no dread of you working in the dining hall, nor should you. If I were going to make a place mine, I would start by taking the humblest, most visible job and doing it as if it were an honor. Any idiot can take a prestigious job and look good. The people I admire can take any job and, by doing it well, show the value and holiness of even the humblest work."

I love my dad. :)
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Sep. 1st, 2004 @ 04:43 pm Sigh it's been a long/short week...
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Mighty Mighty Bosstones "Impression that I Get"
Today has been a long day, due in large part to the fact that I was wearing HIGHLY uncomfortable, though very beautiful, footwear. Anyway, mission accomplished and who knows, it may have been the shoes. Anyhow, of course have developed massive crush on said boy...blah...It's ridiculous. Yes, Erin, you're absolutely right: I am a "puzzel." Erin knows her shit.

Also, this week has been nuts BECAUSE every single night, just in case anyone has homework, there is something fun to do. Last night there was Old School on North Quad, which was awesome except for the seating arrangement... But that is a hilarious movie. Meg expected someone to go streaking on the quad when Will Ferrell has his naked experience, but alas! No daring boy, Zahm or otherwise, took the opportunity.

On the people front, I met a few more this week, in classes and such, and it's been nice. (Se incluyen el nino muy guapo:)Only thing is, I feel like I may have been blowing some people off? If you are reading this and it describes you, I'm really sorry. I realize you probably think I am a huge despicable jerk, and I've probably acted like one. All I can say is I'm sorry and I'd like to make it up to you.

Moving on to what I dislike about online journals: anyone can read them. So, for example, I cannot write about many things I would not mind SOME people reading because some OTHER people might read them and be upsetttttted by them. Blah! And more than that I cannot say:( I really suck at boys. And I wish they could just be friends instead of going after girls all the time. :( Erin says the issue is that I am an "intrinsic flirt." She's probably right, como usual. But what to do about it?????

My Melanie got her first-choice sorority! She is an SMSU Tri-Sig, and I'm so incredibly happy for her. Love you, Mel! :)
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Aug. 28th, 2004 @ 10:51 am Week in Review plus Saturday Night Live
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: none, really
OK so "Joe and the piano"
Friday night, Kathryn, Erin and I walked Mary back to McGlinn after we went to Subway and had much drama blah. In the lobby of McGlinn, we ran into Craig and some of his newfound friends, who seemed quite nice! Joe, the piano one, was talking football with us. He knows absolutely EVERYTHING. He had down the entire lineup from memory and could tell you anything you wanted to know. Anyway, it started raining, so Kathryn and Erin decided not to go back to Stanford with me. Craig and Joe offered to walk me back to Farley, but it was raining so hard we decided to stop in at their hall, Alumni, for a bit to wait it out some and get umbrellas. Joe decided he wanted to play the piano, so we went into their chapel. They have an unbelievable chapel--a far cry from Farley's carpeted room with pillows and a cross. Alumni's is beautiful, with nice wooden pews and a real altar. So Joe played and sang Ben Folds, some Billy Joel "Piano Man," and a few other things. I was completely enthralled. He is amazing. He should seriously give a concert here. Yes, it was that good. And he can play Philosophy! which is my favorite. AND I asked his favorite, and it's...PHILOSOPHY! Oh what beautiful music.

Saturday Night Live:
Went to Zahm party with Meghan and some St. Mary's girls who are friends of hers. Zahm was weak. Like, 2 rooms with loud music and lots of sweat, and 30 girls to each nasty Zahm guy. Not my type of ratio. Soooooo we LEFT, yes, yes. Next we hit up Stanford, and soon decided to stay there, because the second floor was HOPPING. I think there was a party in like every room on that floor, so woe to the poor 2nd floor kids who wanted to sleep last night :) One room was the coolest thing I've seen so far: they have a common room in which they have set up a BAR! They even had the TV behind it up in the corner, so it had a real sports bar effect. It was really cool-looking, even for someone who was not drunk. I mostly hung out in Alex's room with his friends.

Later, just ended up having a SERIOUS (surprise!) conversation with Danny down in the lobby, and I feel much better about him now. He's such a goofball normally, so I'm glad I can kind of take him seriously now, because he's very nice. Unless he was messing with me the entire time. It's frustrating to have people mess with you when usually YOU are the person who messes with OTHERS. I don't know how to handle it.

But anyway, today is Sunday, which means workday, since I have yet to do, like, any work at all. I can probably be found at the library most of the day, hidden in some silent corner where my mind will have a harder time wandering away from my studies.
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Aug. 27th, 2004 @ 08:01 pm Good Day SUNSHINE!
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: The Beatles "Good Day Sunshine"
Today was amazing. Up at 10 ish, ran at Rolfs, shower, then layed (laid?) out in the fields behind McGlinn with Mary and Erin for like 5 hours, followed by an hour or so of frisbee and softball on South Quad. My heart belongs to South Quad. My soul belongs ON South Quad, but c'est la vie. I love Farley, too. Anyway, today was the first Saturday I've had off for three years, and I must say it far outdoes any Saturday I had before that. Yes, since end of freshman year, I've always either had 1. work or, if I took off work, it was because of 2. cheer competition or 3. Paladin paste-up. So today felt amazing. It was one of the best days I can remember. I just love being outside and watching all the men play their sports, then sucking it up at frisbee with my KMC girls lol, then watching alyssa and kathryn be awesome at softball, then eating in South Dining Hall with them. We were in the dining hall for like 2 hours I bet, just chatting. I loved it so much. So much, in fact, that I no longer wish to relate the sordid details of last night's stupidity of many. It's behind us, and tonight will be wonderful. I love today. :):):):):)

EXCEPT! I must later relate about Joe and the piano. This will remind me.
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Aug. 25th, 2004 @ 04:14 pm Today!
Today, not organized as I should be yet. Got this genius kid Joe lost on the way to his philosophy class...felt bad...not cool. Bought football tix! Row 42...I'm not sure where that puts me, exactly, but I'm in good company, so it doesn't matter. Got a postcard from Beth who I miss so much at KSU! Saw beautiful Garrett on the way back from Calc, said hi, almost fainted. You know the routine:) Theology was much better today, since I was actually on time.

Last night, didn't get much done because of dumb boys who were visiting us. Didn't want to be rude, but wanted them to GO far away so I could study. Soooo didn't get all the homework done. Not a great start.

That's really about it. Just wanted to update...my apologies for the interest level being quite low today.

Still must find a job! Holy moly.
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Aug. 24th, 2004 @ 04:12 pm Perfect Weather :)
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Cowboy Mouth "God Makes the Rain"
Right at this second, the world is perfect outside. It's only 4:12 in the afternoon, but everything is dark, and I hear thunder from my open window. The only improvement that could possibly be made is if it were the tiniest bit colder, since my room is also hot and sticky, making for less than perfect naps. All I really want to do is go running forever and ever, shower, reflect on the beauty and then sleep. Sadly, the busy world still calls, and homework, cleaning and job search will take the place of my perfect evening. That's ok though, because I love today.

And, in one flash of lightning, the sky begins to pour. I do believe a post-rain run will complete this wonderful day.
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Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:51 pm Update and a Half
Current Mood: enthralledenthralled
Current Music: DMB "the song about colors mixing together to gray"
Today was a wonderful day!

First, got lost on my way to First Class of College. Not a great start, but it may have turned out for the best. See, all sneakily, the university scheduled my theology class in an ENGINEERING building, cleverly hidden right smack in front of me on South Quad. But I was uninformed. Short version: was 20 minutes late, but learned where Hays-Healy Hall is. Sooooo after second class, was walking home when this kid behind me is like, "Does anyone know where Hays Healy is?" I turn around, and he is gorgeous. One of the St. Ed's boys we played Olympics with. So, walked him to Hays Healy on my way to check choir list, and he asked for my number "in case he got lost again." Oh yes--oh yes. So, just got off the phone with him. He seems nice-ish I suppose, but you never can tell...

Then! Checked choir list! Anddddd I am a soprano in the Notre Dame Chorale. It sounds impressive, but everyone I talked to who auditioned made it...but oh well. I was still very happy. And Mary is a soprano with me, and two girls in my dorm, Jordy and Eri, are in it too! I am quite excited.

Tonight, opening-of-the-year Mass was beautiful. The choirs were awesome, and I can't believe I'm going to be in one of them. Then, fireworks and satisfactory food on DeBartolo Quad. Yes, there were FIREWORKS at my SCHOOL! Was completely in awe. The display was among the best I've seen, like ever, and I adore fireworks. The band, The Green Room, was really really good. Like, I might pay to see them, only I wish they did more of their own stuff and not so many covers. But the covers were good, too. W/E.
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Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 07:32 pm The Countdown begins: 20 1/2 hours remaining in Kansas
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: Billy Joel "For the Longest Time"
Oh I've been crying so much today! And I am very full, because have been taken out to eat by various people for the last four meals. Quick Review:

Erin and I drove up to visit Katie at Kstate. Short version: her roommate isn't very nice and the girl's boyfriend spent the night in their room the first night. Ugh. Not a good first impression. When we left, felt like we were feeding her to the wolves. Cried. Lunch at Chili's with the Brinkmans--such a wonderfully crude family:) (two brothers...too funny)

Dinner at PF Chang's on the Waterfront with the Maxine's bunch. We had so much food! And I had too much wine. They ordered me wine, which was cool, but then I had to talk to Melanie on the phone in the parking lot for like half an hour until I was OK to drive home. Holy moly, I had no idea it would affect me that much. It never does at home! So anyway, that was really fun and the ladies bought me fun stuff. Cried.

Lunch with Coach Roberts and Ms. Raglin et al at Il Vicino. Got to see everyone one last time. I adore Coach Roberts, and he paid for lunch for everyone. Almost cried.
Then, today was my last day of work, so cried.

Dinner at Margarita's Cantina with the family, and I've been worrying about so many useless things. I worry far too much. I would love to update more but HOLY CRAP I have to PACK! I am moving away tomorrow. Will probably be crying all night. Happy, but sad. Excited, but scared. And very very very full.
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